Love and Romance

I have a scene from a book I'm writing that I'm going to share. Background: Copper's grandma left the family to work on some biology project, and died before they finished. Ben's dad worked on the same project.
"Is this a kissing book?"
Yes. Yes it is.

I was glad Ben liked Italian food. Except the fact that I couldn't eat lasagna gracefully to save my life. I feel like such a moron. I probably look like it, too. I bet I have sauce on my face. I've got… yes, that's cheese on my nose. Great first date.

“So, this biology project, do you know what it's about?” I asked.

Ben sat thinking. “You know, I'm not really totally sure. I just believe it is unethical.”

“Unethical? In what way?”

“Animal testing,” He said between bites, “Beyond that and the fact that it involves genetic engineering I have no clue what happens in the lab. Dad says it's confidential.”

“Aren't you curious?”

“Not a whole lot. We were told we could know when they let it out publically. For now, I don't think they have anything beyond theories.”

“I'm curious. I heard grandmas were those that spoil you most, but I kind of didn't have one.”

We sat silently for a while. Why did I say that? Change the subject, change the subject. Cats. No. Cheese. Books. Does he like to read? Kite flying. Where did that come from?

“How's your food?” Ben spoke up.

“Oh, yeah, it's great. I wish I wouldn't get it everywhere though.”

He laughed. “Well you enjoyed it while it lasted.”

I looked down at my plate. The only thing remaining was some sauce. I looked up to see Ben smiling.

“You know, I’ll go to the bathroom while you finish.” I started sliding out of the booth, tripped, then tried to pull myself back up. My hand apparently found his plate which slid onto his shirt. The napkin protected his pants, but his pale blue shirt was no longer just pale blue.

“Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.”

He stood up and handed me his wallet. “Be sure to tip the waiter, I will wait for you outside.”

I didn't see his face and had no idea how he felt. I left some cash and paid at the counter as quickly as I could. People stared. I tried to hide my face and went out to Ben. We got in the car and sat in silence. I was afraid to speak. He sighed. “Let's go to the park.”

He parked on the road and we both got out. Should I be scared? He looked down at his shirt then peeled it off. He wasn't particularly muscular, but I would never describe him as weak. He wasn’t a model, but imperfect was suddenly perfect. He looked a little vulnerable, being so bare. I wanted to hug him and help him, but at the same time would do anything for him to protect me.

Throwing the shirt in the car he said, “Let's just talk for a minute,” and we headed down a poorly lit trail.

It was dark, and I was with a stranger. I guess Ben wasn't really a total stranger, but he seemed pretty bold earlier. Now he was.. quiet.

"Ben?"

"Hm?"

"Are you mad?"

"Why would I be mad?"

"I don't know. You're just pretty quiet now. Plus, I embarrassed you earlier. I'm a klutz. Sorry."

Ben sighed, running his fingers through his hair. Was he really that frustrated?

"No, I just. How do I say it?"

"I have no idea. But, try anyway."

"The way you looked at me when Emmie brought me..."

"Oh my gosh," I interrupted, "Was that really so obvious?"

He chuckled. "No doubt. I thought a date would be, well, nice. Even though I wasn't interested."

My cheeks were probably bright red, thank goodness it was dark, "So, I'm a waste of time then?"

"What?! No!" Ben sounded more offended than I was. "I don't know how to explain it but..." We had just stopped walking. His face looked as flushed as mine probably was. Did he feel...

I had an arm around my waist and a hand in my hair before I could finish the thought. His lips pulled from mine and...

My eyes were wide open during my first kiss.

I was mad I had no warning, though it was sweet and soft and I just stood while he still held me, stiff and as surprised as I was. The only thing I could get out was....

"I'm sorry." Wait. That wasn't my voice. I hadn't said anything. Ben had.

"I shouldn't have... I could've said it... But..."

"No." I told him, "That felt right.”

He pulled his hand through my hair, around my jaw, and lifted my head. His eyes were bright, he smiled, and pulled in again.

***

Everything blurred together in a colorful  harmony, it was as if I had been dreaming, but with the butterflies that didn't go away, I knew it was real.

His fingers brushed mine as he left me at the doorstep with the silent promise of another day.

I came inside and tried to act normal. “I'm tired.” I said before descending the stairs to my room. I wasn't sleeping, yet. I was thinking. Should I tell my parents? I know they want to know about my first kiss but, “I embarrassed a guy I barely knew on our first date and then we kissed when I thought he was mad,” didn't quite seem like a fairy tale. But then again, it FELT like one. I drifted to sleep expecting to dream, but instead it was a silent peace